a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
