so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
