He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
