i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
