ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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