Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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