You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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