they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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