can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
