she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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