You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Success! We fucked roommates!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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