Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
