I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
