Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
