I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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