God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
