did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
