but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
