OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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