If i come over, it means nothing
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
