Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
