Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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