So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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