We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
