weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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