no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize