Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
