Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
