he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
