I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
PANTIES FOUND
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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