i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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