he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
