I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
