im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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