STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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