let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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