just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
