I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
