awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
