I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
