well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
