there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
