My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
