just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
50% drunk capacity currently
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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