dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
