I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
