I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
