I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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