u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
