This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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