Dual....:-)
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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