I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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