Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
