I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
