i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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