We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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