random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
